According to Unconfirmed Sources (satire):
(Anaheim-CA) Disneyland continues having a difficult time living up to its “Happiest Place on Earth” promise. Only two weeks after Disney employees took over the “Pirates of the Caribbean” ride, the character of Piglet has officially been banned due to swine flu concerns. And once again a Disney employee is protesting.
David Lemster, who has played the part of Piglet for five years, took his case to local news on KCAL, gaining media attention by chaining himself to the “Swiss Family Treehouse”. “To ban Piglet because of this swine flu outbreak is ridiculous. It sends the wrong message to kids.” Lemster believes Disney missed an important teaching opportunity. “I’m not saying that Piglet can’t be fearful of the swine flu. As a method actor, I understand that. Why do you think I suggested that Piglet should wear a surgical mask? I even mentioned a possible merchandising opportunity, putting other “Winnie the Pooh” characters on the mask. They would hear none of it, Small World Fascists!”
And yeah, the story gets weirder from there. Something about Kermit and Miss Piggy’s sadomasochistic relationship, but I just couldn’t follow it.
We can only hope that Piglet’s surgical mask would be anywhere near as stylish as those featured today on Pink Tentacle.