Unintentionally Hilarious Bootleg Toy Story Action Figures

From Cracked.com:

For some inexplicable reason, Woody screams “FIRE! FIRE! DROP THE GUN!” complete with machine gun sound effects while his chest lights up like Iron Man. Either he has serious PTSD or a rampaging crystal meth addiction. If this is an indication of the quality of the rest of the bootleg Toy Story line, we might have to take the packaging’s advice and “collections them all”.

(And as I write this, I notice that while I’ve mentioned Buzz often enough to justify a WordPress category, poor Woody only gets a tag. I guess once again it’s all about the space toys. Sorry, cowboy.)

Disney Hipster Meme

Who knew there was a whole meme going on out on the interwebs about Disney hipsters? And no, I don’t mean trendy themepunks . . . I mean photoshopping and captioning Disney characters into hipster status.

I’m lucky enough to have a teenage son to clue me into these things, and he sent me these as a bit of a sampler (click on the images for larger versions):

And hey, if you’re inspired, here’s a palette of Disney hipsters, all ready for you to caption.

Rumor has it there’s a little place called MemeBase where people churn this stuff out every day. In fact, right now there’s a pretty nasty caption on a Buzz Lightyear drinking cup posted there. But you didn’t hear it from me.

Everybody Wants the Space Toys

Long before the Christmas clearance sales, this Pez dispenser display at our local supermarket was sold out of Buzz Lightyear, and had plenty of the Woody version, perfectly echoing the anxieties of our cowboy hero as he feels his place threatened in Andy’s heart, and that moment in the 1950s when space toys pushed their wild west counterparts out of the way.

Sorry, Woody. I blame Sputnik.

Buzz Lightyear Laser Blast, Disneyland Paris

Buzz Lightyear Laser Blast in Disneyland Paris’ Discoveryland doesn’t vary much from its stateside counterparts: You spin the car around, you shoot at the Zs, you complain that your gun isn’t working right, you mug for the camera in the final room. But hey, in Paris it’s partially in French, plus the guns come out of their holsters (as do those in Anaheim, but not Lake Buena Vista).

I lost track of how many times we visited this attraction during our four days at Disneyland Paris last month. But I can tell you that the Fast Pass machines there are more prone to delays than any other Fast Pass machines I’ve ever seen. It seemed that every single time we approached for Fast Passes, several of the machines were out of paper.

But no matter….it was fun to hear Buzz speaking French, fun to play shooting gallery, fun even to sit around taking pictures on my last time through the attraction since my gun, yes, was not working properly.

My BFF has pointed out that at some point on the park map, our hero is referred to as Buzz L’Eclair. This seems to translate literally to “Buzz Flash” or “Buzz Lightning,” which feels like an odd translation but must work quite smoothly for dubbing, given the similarity of the words.

A speaker is housed in this walkie-talkie, giving some of the familiar spiel as you're on your way through the queue

The Etch-a-sketch replacing the Viewmaster here was a nice touch. Mission diagrams were drawn throughout Buzz' comments, which were of course bilingual.

The ride remains the same....all your old friends are here.

There are also a few extra touches of awesomeness, as it's the newest installation of this attraction. having opened in 2006.

Yup, I was looking everywhere for the lanyard tags like they sell at the US parks. But no dice.

And hey, while we’re talking about Toy Story attractions and such….yup, I’ve already pre-ordered my copy of the Toy Story Mania game for Wii, which comes out tomorrow! In fact, I ordered mine at the local Game Stop, to get the bonus Toy Story Mania wiimote face plates (unlike the link above, that goes to my Amazon Affiliates store, the virtual equivalent of buying me a Dole Whip to thank me for the blog). My one question, as I anxiously await playing it tomorrow: Will the game feature special cut scenes between plays where you head back out to the line, check to see what the Fast Pass return time is like, and chat amongst yourselves for 90 minutes before you get to play again?

Tokyo Disneyland Suspends Parades

Parades at Tokyo Disneyland have been suspended indefinitely. AFP has details:

A 300-kilogramme (660 pound) ornament fell off the float during a parade on Tuesday, said Oriental Land Co., which operates the park.

After the accident, the park suspended parades while it conducts an investigation and does not know when they will resume, Oriental Land said. Amusement rides were functioning as normal.

During the parade, the float featuring Toy Story’s Buzz Lightyear character broke on a pole which supported a number of balls designed like planets.

“It slowly bent and fell off,” said Oriental Land spokesman Hiroshi Suzuki. “It landed right in front of some guests.”

No one was injured.

Walt Disney World to Use Cell Phones in New Attraction, Give Math Tests to Canadians

A September 29 press release from Walt Disney World includes details of several upcoming attractions, and includes this tantalizing bit of information for Monsters Inc fans:

Monsters Inc. Laugh Floor Comedy Club. Magic Kingdom guests will laugh, joke, sing songs and match wits with the beloved animated characters from Disney-Pixar’s “Monsters, Inc.” in an engaging and interactive attraction being created by the Disney Imagineers. Monsters Inc. Laugh Floor Comedy Club features one-eyed hero Mike Wazowski, who has opened a comedy club to collect laughs that will generate electricity for the monster world of Monstropolis. As Monster-of-Ceremonies, Mike recruits two comedian wannabes whose slapstick humor delights and engages audiences. Guests will even get to text-message jokes on their cell phones for possible use in the show. [emphasis mine]

Disney has in recent years been incorporating more and more interactive elements. The Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters ride in Anaheim (Disneyland), for example, allows you not only rack up the points when you’re riding it in person, but also to participate through an online component. The Turtle Talk with Crush attraction both at Anaheim (Disney’s California Adventure) and Orlando (Epcot) uses digital puppetry to create a verbally and visually interactive animated character. Disney’s “living character initiative” is creating more emphasis on ambulatory interactive experiences, including the rumored new rolling Muppet Labs. And I could go on.

But what’s different about the use of cell phones in the Monsters’ Inc Laugh Floor is the use of an independant, guest-owned electronic input device to influence the content of an attraction. True, Astro Blasters used the web as an input device, but the space rangers on the actual ride weren’t aware of this input until they got to the pictures displayed in the exit area (if they even noticed then).

I’ll be interested to see the way in which the cell phone input is incorporated. Will the Cast Members receive the information live, and use it in real-time (similar to the experience of Turtle Talk with Crush)? Or will it be dumped into a database for later mining? Receiving the information in the form of text messages gives them more control, more ability to screen out the hecklers and zero in on the funny, Disney-friendly stuff than they’d have if they simply encouraged guests to shout out their ideas. But it also could create an overwhelming crush of data, unless they’re going to restrict text message submission only to those in the attraction itself.

The press release also includes a bit of text about the Year of a Million Dreams prizes, including this note:

For residents of Canada, a mathematical skill-testing question must be correctly answered to win any prize.

Yes, we’re all aware that this is a legal requirement for those giving out sweepstakes prizes to Canadians, but you’ve gotta wonder, how are they going to implement this for the smaller prizes? “Psssst, hey buddy, if you can do this quadratic equation, there’s a free lanyard in it for you!”

More Trouble for Hong Kong Disneyland: Buzz Sues Over Injuries

The Raw Story has more bad news for Hong Kong Disneyland: A 22-year old former Cast Member is suing over neck injuries sustained in a Buzz Lightyear costume.

Is this a big deal? Maybe. On the one hand, I’m sure there have been plenty of Cast Member lawsuits over the years; any company of this size will surely be sued now and then, and the conditions that “fur” characters work under are gruelling under the best of circumstances. On the other hand, Disney has had more trouble with lawsuits, unions, and general worker unrest overseas than they have stateside (see this article from EIROnline about a two-month strike at DL Paris in 1998), and given all the recent press on missing their initial attendance goals, this is bad timing.

On a related note . . . if you’re curious about what it’s like for “face” and “fur” characters, this bittersweet story on MousePlanet (warning, pop-ups) details one person’s experience, written by someone who “miss[es] the job with all [her] heart”.