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Why I Want to Be a Disney Princess

12 Apr

Thank you, GraphJam, for telling the truth:

And I must say . . . the housework is a bigger priority to me than the hair (and I’m glad to say I’ve already got the Prince Charming angle covered). I’m reasonably sure that the guys in my household would also like to be a Disney Princess, for the same reason.

Unintentionally Hilarious Bootleg Toy Story Action Figures

12 Apr


For some inexplicable reason, Woody screams “FIRE! FIRE! DROP THE GUN!” complete with machine gun sound effects while his chest lights up like Iron Man. Either he has serious PTSD or a rampaging crystal meth addiction. If this is an indication of the quality of the rest of the bootleg Toy Story line, we might have to take the packaging’s advice and “collections them all”.

(And as I write this, I notice that while I’ve mentioned Buzz often enough to justify a WordPress category, poor Woody only gets a tag. I guess once again it’s all about the space toys. Sorry, cowboy.)

Toy Story 3 for Best Picture? Early Condolence

26 Feb

Toy Story 3: It's a Shame There's No Way in Hell This Will Win Best Picture

From College Humor’s Honest Movie Titles: Oscars 2011.

Disney Hipster Meme

24 Feb

Who knew there was a whole meme going on out on the interwebs about Disney hipsters? And no, I don’t mean trendy themepunks . . . I mean photoshopping and captioning Disney characters into hipster status.

I’m lucky enough to have a teenage son to clue me into these things, and he sent me these as a bit of a sampler (click on the images for larger versions):

And hey, if you’re inspired, here’s a palette of Disney hipsters, all ready for you to caption.

Disney Hipster Pallete

Rumor has it there’s a little place called MemeBase where people churn this stuff out every day. In fact, right now there’s a pretty nasty caption on a Buzz Lightyear drinking cup posted there. But you didn’t hear it from me.

Autocomplete: Hannah Montana is . . .

17 Feb

From AutoCompleteMe.

Now, what was that I was saying just the other day about parents banning Disney Channel from the home because they think Hannah Montana and her ilk are a bad influence? ‘Nuf said.

Hall of Inaccurate Presidents

15 Feb

First my son mentioned it. Then Your Souvenir Guide ran it. So I knew it had to be good. And it is.

I voted for Leo Smoot, myself. I think everyone in the metropolitan Boston area had to, really. Isn’t he related to Oliver Smoot?

Megaplex Mixup: “Sex Drive” Shown to “HSM3” Audience

29 Oct

From Deseret News:

Friday night, managers at the Megaplex Theatre at the District, 11400 South Bangerter Highway, switched one of the showings of “High School Musical 3: Senior Year” to a larger auditorium to accommodate more people. They forgot, however, to switch the movie that had previously been scheduled for the room.

So rather than the family-friendly, G-rated “High School Musical 3,” the beginning of the very nonfamily-friendly R-rated “Sex Drive” came on the screen. The opening minutes of the movie include nudity.

Via Obscure Store and Reading Room. Hat tip to Mr. Broke Hoedown for the headsup.

Captain Jack Salami at Tokyo Disneyland

28 Jul

From BoingBoing:

Tokyo Disneyland offers many charms, but none so, um, suggestive, as this Johnny Depp branded sausage.

Fashion Tips for Disney Tourists

12 Jun

Let she who is without sin cast the first stone. And honey, that’s not gonna be me…I knew way before even pressing “play” that my beloved and infamous lumbar pack would be among the Glamour Don’ts listed here.

Hat tip: Disney Blog.

Disney Ads on NSFW Sites

27 Mar

I think the headline here makes it clear . . . but the links below are probably not appropriate to follow from your office computer, or if your kid is reading over your shoulder. I even starred-out a blog name in the text below, to try to stay PG-13.

Apparently some of Disney’s ad buys are showing up in places you wouldn’t expect them . . . like smut sites. At least, that’s what Defamer tells me:

Occasionally, when the planets align just so and the sun strikes the Earth at the exact right location, we witness that rarest of phenomena known as Disney Ads on Smut Sites. Or at least that’s what gutter-minded rabblerouser [*******] calls it, having caught as many as six different instances of Walt Disney World Web ads aligned beside Egotastic’s recent coverage of sex tapes, flashings and other NSFW (and definitely NSFDW) mini-scandals.

I had to think twice about whether I wanted to blog about this, because I already get plenty of traffic from people looking for materials I don’t carry here, and I’m sure this will lead to more disappointed people, hunting for something salacious and finding me whining about bus service at Saratoga Springs. Man, what a buzz kill.

But it struck me as kinda funny, plus I have to admit I was amused to discover the acronym “NSFDW.” I initially took it to mean “Not Safe for Disney World,” but now I wonder if it means something else. My friend Google introduced me to Malaysia’s National Standards for Drinking Water, but I’ll bet that wasn’t it. In any case, I think we need a new interweb meme: NSFWDW.

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