Did Patti Smith Sell Out to Disney? She Lights Up My Life

Alexandra Le Tellier of The LA Times sums up some recent controversy over Patti Smith’s appearance in a Disney Dream portrait:

Sure, she’s friends with Depp and must have respected his subversive interpretation of Sparrow; it’s true that she’s worked with Leibovitz since the ’70s; and it’s no surprise to learn that as a child she liked to dress up as a pirate. Still, it does seem odd that those factors were persuasive enough to get the punk rock icon to hang up her anti-establishment cloak to shill for Disney. The reaction, online at least, has been a blitz of posts and tweets expressing confusion.

Much like Le Tellier, I’m not surprised by Smith’s decision. Anybody watching Kids Are People Too in the 1970’s knows that Smith said she’ll pretty much work for anybody. Are we really so surprised that the woman who sang this wonderful rendition of You Light Up My Life might also enjoy a little quality time with Mickey?

I never liked that song until I heard her sing it.

Disney LOLs Roundup

Unruly Wenches Get Cap’n Jack Canned?

KTLA reports that Disneyland has discontinued the perhaps-too-popular Jack Sparrow character. But it’s not because the economy’s down…

Disneyland management has fired the four actors who played pirate Jack Sparrow because officials were worried about young female park-goers flashing the swashbuckling actors late at night, according to one former cast member.

“They lost control when they saw Jack Sparrow,” said former pirate Brandon Pinto, who left the role after a dispute with management a year ago. “This is a sexy, rock-star pirate.”

The funnier quote comes later in the article, though:

Disney denies that they pirates were replaced by Tinker Bell fairies.

Why Is the Rum Always Gone?

From ROFLRAZZI.com, which also had this awesome little Muppet not too long ago.

Captain Jack Salami at Tokyo Disneyland

From BoingBoing:

Tokyo Disneyland offers many charms, but none so, um, suggestive, as this Johnny Depp branded sausage.

Jack Sparrow’s Dad, for Louis Vuitton

And the winner for weird ad campaign for the month is . . . Keith Richard for Louis Vuitton!

See Mr Broke Hoedown’s blog for details.

I look at that picture and all I can think of is, “What becomes a legend most?”

A Plea for Pieces of Eight

Your Souvenir Guide has a mash note tonight for the doubloon-stamping machine that used to reside in Disneyland’s New Orleans Square. A snippet:

. . . for the first and last time, I will address the Disney decision-makers who will never, ever lay eyes on this bl-g: Please bring back the coin-stamping machine formerly located at Pieces of Eight. (And if it’s there now, please keep it there.) Oh, I’m sure that you have your reasons for having removed the machine, reasons that seem valid to you: I imagine that it’s fairly expensive to maintain and stock the machine, and considering how skittish you’ve become about stitching nicknames on souvenir hats, I’m sure that you don’t want today’s teenage gangsta goths imprinting your souvenirs with four-letter words, gang slogans and Fall Out Boy lyrics.

Here’s the thing, though: I don’t remotely care about any of that. Yours is a billion-dollar concern and you can afford to eat a few thousand bucks a year. If you you have the wherewithal to make three Pirates of the Craibbean movies, you can build a second doubloon-stamping machine to sit in for the broken one. And if you’re worried about teenaged kids putting blue words on their coins, get this: The coin on my keychain has bore a prodigious number of filthy words for nearly twenty years now, and as near as I can tell, it has created no great rift in the public decency. It’s a pirate coin; what do you want? Pirates say naughty words, ye cowardly cacklefruits. An’ no sea rat e’er palmed a coin that weren’t already dirty.

Naughty pirates? Amen to that.

Star Wars Episode III: At Worlds End

Kudos, SparkleXmotion!

Ask a Ninja Pirates Of the Caribbean 3 Review

Ask a Ninja doesn’t seem to have enjoyed Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End. Go fig.

Chinese Censors Slash Chow Yun-Fat’s POTC Role

As if Chow Yun-Fat wasn’t already suffering from a lack of sufficient screen time in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End . . . Chinese censors have cut him back even further:

Chinese movie star Chow Yun-Fat’s role in “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End” has been slashed in half by censors in China for vilifying and defacing the Chinese and insulting Singapore.

The film, which was released on the mainland early this week, shows only about 10 minutes of Chow’s scenes while in the Hollywood version his scenes take up about 20 minutes of the film.